Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Doubts & Direction

When I started this blog a few months ago, I wasn't quite sure which direction I wanted to take it.  I knew I wanted to blog about those things I love: my family, sewing, decorating, cooking, child development, etc.  I also knew that I wanted to keep it real and keep my content authentic. The blogs I love best, are ones where the blogger shines through as someone that is inspiring, talented, and they make me want to come back again and again because I get to know them and their family. In short, they are a real person. I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks about where I want to take this blog this year.  One night I sat down with my husband and as we talked, I began to tell him about some frustrations I've had with blogging.  Mainly, I didn't know which direction I wanted to go (which 'tribe' I wanted to join), and my lack of progress in attracting an audience. I had three goals when I started this blog:
 1) To inspire others
2) To find a way to use my degree in some way besides being at home all day.
3) To find a way to bring in some sort of income without leaving home.
I told my husband that I felt like I was reaching none of these goals.  And I was reaching none of these goals because I let fear and doubts get in the way.  I am a person who always doubts myself.  My husband tells me that I am way too hard on myself and he is right.  I doubt my ability to be successful, make friends, be a good mom, be a good wife, be a good blogger, be a good preschool teacher, be a good cub scout leader, be beautiful enough, be talented enough, be creative enough...the list could go on forever. I often let fear paralyze me from becoming the person I know I can be. I let my doubts lead me to inaction.
So I set a simple goal for myself. 
It sounds simple, but for me its a mountain to climb.
 In part of learning to act, I have reflected quite a bit on what it is that I would like to focus this blog on. I came to two realizations:
1) In my spare time I am always browsing quilting blogs. Seriously. I love to sew.  Fabric kind of makes me giddy. Creating something beautiful out of a pile of fabric makes me happy. In college I did an internship in a fabric store...I never had a pay check because I spent it all on fabric. I've repeatedly told my mom and husband that I would be perfectly happy owning a little quilt shop. 
2) Secondly, I realized that this blog is very impersonal.  Gah! That's something I hate about blogs.  I hate it when posts are all about content and not at all about real life. It almost makes it a chore to read the blog. So its time to make this blog more real and less robotic...
Here's a picture of my kiddos last Sunday at church.  Well, in the bathroom at church :). My baby was making the cutest faces at himself in the mirror while his brother was washing his hands.  I tried to capture the pure joy he had when he saw himself in the mirror. Instead I caught him admiring his older brother. Precious. I stinking love these boys. Being a mom is the best job ever.

 So I'm the nerd that asked for fabric for Christmas. The husband was even kind enough to let me go pick it all out while he waited patiently outside the store with four rambunctious boys. I needed 18 fat quarters for my latest project and happened to hit a sale where it was buy two fat quarters, get one free.  I was pretty much ecstatic that I got a third of my fabric for free! I've been using it to make these blocks...

for my Swoon quilt. (Sorry for the blurry IG picture!)  There was a  Swoon-along hosted last year and I followed it, admiring all of the beautiful Swoon quilts, but was unable to participate. A few months ago, I saw the pattern at one of my favorite quilt shops and bought it on a whim. The pattern is by Thimble Blossoms, and the designer, Camille, is a friend of a friend, and one of the many quilting bloggers I follow. These blocks have been so much fun to put together, and I'm excited to get working on the rest of them.That is, when I can find time with so many little ones under my feet all day. In fact, sometimes I have to put Boy 1 to work, so I can get some work done! He's working hard at cutting 'block' for a quilt he wants to make for his "baby" (a stuffed bear he adores, but shh, don't let his other 7 year old friends know).

Yes, I realize he's holding the rotary cutter wrong, and yes, right after I snapped this picture I stopped him from cutting his thumb.:)


  1. I gasped aloud at your beautiful blocks!!! Then I gasped aloud at his thumb hanging over the ruler!!! LOL! Glad he still has it. :) Can't wait to see the finished product of your (and boy # 1's) quilt. :)

  2. Funny, because I never doubted your abilities for a second. Thanks for sharing your deepest feelings. It's nice to know that others feel the same as you. Good luck in accomplishing such an admirable goal!

  3. I admire you for wanting to stay authentic and true to your voice. You have a lot of raw talent. Sadly, my blog is one of those ones that doesn't seem authentic, but it's generated income and taken me places that I never would have gone elsewhere so I go with it. I often wish I could sew or quilt but I don't have the patience or eye for it. You are doing a great job with your blog, keep it up!!